![]() ![]() (Which they probably preferred anyway.) And you know what? The magic came back. On those days, people got a picture of my dog. I also learned many things I love to do are too precious to caption, like memorizing lines in a play or practicing piano during lunch. I learned the difference between ones I loved and ones that only photographed well-and chose to stop doing the latter. I wanted to quit, but I decided to pay closer attention to my hobbies instead. That day in September, I felt like a fraud. I'd chosen to hide my real emotions behind a phone and write a caption for other people instead. But looking back at my pictures, I realized that my hobbies had become performative–all for the Insta photos. My intentions were good, I wanted to scream. Then she said this: "Well, you couldn't tell from your Instagram feed." One fall afternoon, I admitted to a friend that I felt lost. PHOTO: liz lashway PHOTO: liz lashway PHOTO: liz lashway As the year stretched on, with the usual onslaught of bad news in the world and my own personal issues, I asked my husband if crying was a hobby. I even dedicated an entire day to picking sunflowers-surely this would give me joy!-but it didn't help. I tried harder, with soft pretzels and sourdough. So I pushed my hobby limits even further. My hobbies became wins and losses in my mind, until it began to feel like I was failing at something bigger. ![]() The end product wasn't always suitable for social media. Sometimes the dough didn't rise, or the bread burned. Then something the opposite of magical started to happen. It felt like the more time I carved out for me, the more hours I got back to fill. Neighbors thanked me for biscotti with flower bulbs to plant. I discovered a local theater and signed up for an acting class. And somewhere along the way, something magical started to happen: the more something I did, the more something happened. PHOTO: LIZ LASHWAY PHOTO: liz lashway PHOTO: liz lashwayīy April, I had a new mantra: There is something fun to do today, and I'm going to find it, even if it was just taking a walk. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |